as one of those rowdy commoners , or at least in my younger drinking years , best bet is to let it be know that the pub down the street is giving free drinks and food , always worked for me , other thing you might inquire about is access to the private backroom of the bar , the better pubs will most likely have a private room set aside for the upper crust and those of us commoners who are know to carry out some of your dirty deeds and supply you rich folks with those other worldly goods that you want , but don’t want to associate with the lower class to acquire
PS wasn’t one of the drunks who bored people with the sports talk or started any of the bar room brawls , but sure as hell had a lot of fun

I understand it’s in short supply on the NHS at the moment, Sir B’, but as you’re undoubtedly a private Harley Street patient I’m sure your quack can rustle you up a vat or two of Anti Swine Elixir –
or “Sheize-B-Orft”, to give it the German maker’s brand name.
It’s all the rage currently since this Swine Flu fever took off, but the government always ensures there are adequate supplies of antidote for posh people whenever there’s any kind of outbreak of unpleasantness.
Once you’ve secured a goodly amount, just fill up some spray canisters with the searingly caustic liquid and then simply ‘zshoosh’ yourself a pathway through the crowded tavern to the seating area of your choice.
Incidentally, though it is intended for exclusive use on the lower orders, I understand this repellent works equally well on posh but pesky wives.
Good luck, Bobble!

Dear Sir, You might desire to send ahead a few servants as scouts to keep handy some of the more attractive wenches to ’service’ you when you honor these dingy pubs with your most delightful presence and then after doing as you wish with the pre-approved wenches, you could then dismiss them to be gone from your presence. Of course your servants scouts would have already cleared the pub (using whips made of whichever material you find most trendy of late) of all of the other undesirables so as to make your experience as pleasant as possible without the stench of ordinary people disturbing you and your company. Cheers.

Scoundy…can i come too?i promise to be good this time

lol…i think i can handle it…

I say, Queen of Beer has a spiffing suggestion here old chap. If it works, I shall join you, although the thought of those dismal places somewhat negates me.

But whatever happens, you most certainly must not enter whilst they are there – remember what happened last time time when you dressed as a commoner to try and deceive them? (nudge, bonfire night??)

edit:
April: Most certainly young lady. But I must warn you that Sir B is a bit erm…. wel …. “raunchy” when he’s had a few yards of the amber nectar – gets his horse whip out and then anything can happen.

The solution is simple, to eliminate the riffraff, as soon as you enter the pub make an announcement that they are giving away mobile homes in the next county. That should give you plenty of time to enjoy some fine ales.

Why is it that in the UK both commoners and aristos seem to know only one way of passing the time, going to the pub ?